A sexual confidence program that starts with befriending yourself
Developed by Murat Yön, clinical psychologist and sex therapist
Sexual confidence is being at ease in your body during intimacy and able to say what you want. This program works on making peace with your body, step by step.
First a free 3–4 minute assessment, then a plan ordered for you.
Start the confidence assessmentSee your plan without signing up
If one of these sentences is yours
- "Not with the light on; I'm ashamed of my body being seen."
- "In the moment I watch myself from outside: 'how do I look, am I doing it right'."
- "I can't say no to something I don't want; then I'm angry at myself."
Sentences we hear often; not user reviews.
What is inside
Confidence and boundaries has its own 7-session section; body awareness (7 sessions) and mindful intimacy (6 sessions) complete it. The assessment orders these, and the rest of the 23-module program, for you.
Topics covered in this section
- Know your inner voice
Noticing the critical voice that switches on during sex, and answering it with another voice.
- Body image
Making peace with your body: returning from appearance to sensation; short, repeatable practices.
- Setting boundaries
Saying what you want and what you do not; seeing that a "no" does not break the relationship.
- Compassion break and reflection journal
Two-minute tools for the moments you are hard on yourself.
- Body awareness
Body scan, breath and pelvic awareness: knowing your body from the inside, not the outside.
- Staying in the moment
Leaving the spectator position and staying in the body during intimacy; syncing with a partner.
One exercise from the program: a body compassion scan
Body image, what you think and feel about your body, can feed the habit of watching yourself from outside during intimacy. This exercise does not silence the critical voice; it shows that the voice is not the only truth. Allow about fifteen quiet minutes.
- Write down the parts you criticize, specifically and without judging.
- Ask where each criticism came from: whose voice is it, and how old were you?
- Add what that part does for you: "I find my legs too thick, but they have walked, run and danced." The criticism stays, but stops being the only truth.
- Close with one breath, a hand on your chest: "This is my body. It does not have to be perfect."
- Try three steps during intimacy: notice the critical voice, return to one sense (touch, warmth, breath) and think, "This body can feel right now."
Stop if difficult memories surface or distress grows intense; stopping is a skill too. If body criticism clearly restricts daily life (eating very little, avoiding mirrors altogether, or spending a long time choosing clothes to hide a flaw), or there is a history of sexual trauma, working with a psychologist comes first; the NHS also advises seeing a GP for signs like these. You never have to share any step with your partner.
Source: the “Body Image: Making Peace with Your Body” session in the app, Self-Confidence & Boundaries module, shortened here.
How it works
- Assessment (3–4 minutes, free)
The questions can cover how you feel in your own body, where your attention goes during intimacy, whether you can say "no" to something you do not want, and where most of what you know about sex came from. Seeing the plan needs no account; you create one only to save it.
- A plan ordered for you
Confidence and boundaries is one of the program's foundation sections; in the example above it comes second, straight after body awareness. If you mark that you fear a reaction when you say no, or that you sometimes go along with things you do not want, the plan starts with boundaries and communication and moves couple exercises to the end.
- First session: befriending yourself
The section opens with "Befriending Yourself" and "Know Your Inner Voice", followed by the compassion break, boundaries, the reflection journal and a self-compassion meditation; the body image session closes it. Your progress stays in your account, unshared, and the same account lets you carry on from your phone or in the browser.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does the assessment cost anything?
No. The assessment and the plan at the end of it are free and can be seen without an account. Opening the sessions takes a Sexual Wellness subscription, which is for this app only. Current options are listed on the pricing page.
Can I do it without a partner?
Yes. The whole section is designed for one person, and the body compassion exercise on this page is done alone. Partner work, such as the "Partner Synchrony" session in the mindful intimacy section, is optional. If you are not in a relationship, the assessment asks, and the plan is built accordingly.
How long does the body image session take?
The seven sessions in the confidence and boundaries section run between 5 and 12 minutes; the longest is the 12-minute body image session. For the body compassion scan inside it, you are asked to set aside about fifteen quiet minutes.
Can anyone see what I write?
No. Your answers, your journal and your progress are kept in your account only and are never shared. What you write on paper during the body compassion exercise stays entirely with you. You can delete your account, and everything in it, whenever you choose.
Which devices can I use?
The web app and the Sexual Wellness app from the App Store or Google Play, both with the same Sexual Wellness account. Wherever you stopped in the confidence section, you carry on from there in either place. This account is not your Apple or Google store account; it is a separate one.
My partner gets angry when I say no. Is this program right for me?
The boundary sessions may help, but your safety comes first. If you mark in the assessment that you fear a reaction when you refuse, a note above your plan says this is a boundary matter rather than a compatibility problem, and the plan begins with boundaries and communication. If you do not feel safe, reach out to a professional or a local support line.
Guide on this topic: Mindful Sex & Sensory Discovery
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