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Do you keep fighting with your partner? A step-by-step programme to end the same fight

Created by a couples therapist and clinical psychologist

Whatever the topic, you end up in the same fight; you make up, but it never really closes. The stop-fighting programme works on the cycle of the same fight step by step, from the argument itself to repair.

First a free 4–5 minute assessment, then a 12‑step plan ordered for you.

Start the conflict assessment

See your plan without signing up

If one of these sentences is yours

  • "Whatever the topic, we end up in the same fight; by the end we forget who was right."
  • "My voice rises, then I regret it — but in the moment I can't stop myself."
  • "We make up, but nothing closes; a week later we're back in the same place."

Sentences we hear often; not user reviews.

What is inside

Conflict management is a 10-session module; emotion regulation (5), apology and forgiveness (5) and positive balance (5) complete it. The assessment orders these, and the rest of the 37-module programme, for you.

Topics covered in this section

  • The anatomy of conflict

    Seeing that the fight is a pattern, not a topic: who starts, who withdraws, where the loop locks.

  • The moment of flooding

    Recognising when the body takes over; learning that a time-out is not walking away.

  • Observation or evaluation?

    The language that replaces "you always…"; speaking in the name of a need.

  • The anatomy of a real apology

    What an apology needs in order to work; what forgiveness is not.

  • The 5:1 observation

    Tracking the balance of positive and negative interactions together for a week.

  • Couple sessions

    You each answer on your own phone; answers open together only once both of you have written.

How it works

  1. Relationship assessment (4–5 minutes, free)

    25–30 questions that adapt to your answers. No sign-up needed.

  2. A twelve-step plan

    If conflict is in front, the plan starts there; the remaining modules stay open.

  3. Two phones, one subscription

    You invite your partner; the same subscription opens for both of you. The same account continues in the browser.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it free?

The assessment and your suggested plan are free. Subscription content requires a paid Couples Wellness subscription, which also covers your linked partner. Sexual Wellness is a separate app with a separate account and subscription. See the pricing page for current options.

What if my partner says "the problem is you"?

You can start alone; the emotion regulation and observation sessions are single-person. Your partner joins later by invitation.

Is it used during a fight?

No; the programme is designed for the time between fights, not the fight itself. The time-out session rehearses in advance what to do in the moment.

Phone or computer?

Use your Couples Wellness account in the web app or in the Couples Wellness mobile app downloaded from the App Store or Google Play. Your Couples Wellness account is separate from your Apple or Google store account, and from any Sexual Wellness account.

Guide on this topic: How to apologise to your partner and repair after hurt

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